A Wise Son -A Proverb A Day 001

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A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother.
Proverbs 10:1

Welcome to a Proverb a Day to Keep the Stupid at Bay. Our proverb for today on the surface may seem very simple, but come with me on a journey to look beneath the surface. In its most simple form, this proverb is a contrast between wisdom and foolishness in the family and its effects. The character of the son will affect the parents.

Consider the narrative more closely, starting with the main character – the son. Is the use of the masculine here mean that this direction is only for males? The answer to this is a solid no. The same Hebrew word used here for son ‘ben’ can also be used in a general sense for children. In Genesis 22:20 we read that ‘Milcah has also borne children’. This is the exact same word in use here, while masculine, contextually is being used in a more general sense of ‘children’. The proverb applies to all.

While the son is the main character, the affected parties in this proverb are the passive characters of the father and mother. It’s significant that both father and mother are referenced in this proverb. It could possibly be a call back to the fourth commandment: Honor your father and mother. It could also be an indicator of the all-inclusiveness of the effects. A foolish son will cause heaviness for his father as much as for his mother and vice versa. The inclusion of both points us back to God’s law and universality of effects. Being wise or foolish doesn’t limit itself to either men or women. It is expected of both and will affect both.

Note briefly gladness and heaviness. These are the contrast. They walk hand-in-hand with wisdom and foolishness. One lifts up, the other brings down. One makes light, the other makes heavy. One is desirable, the other is not. These are opposing results which are produced by opposing characters – wise and foolish.

It is these opposing characters that are the central element. The only change between the two contrasts is that of the child’s character. Wise or foolish? For us to truly understand and be able to apply this proverb, we must comprehend what it means to be wise or foolish.
Wisdom, according to Proverbs, begins with the fear of the Lord. The previous chapter of Proverbs tells us, ‘The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of wisdom.’ What is this fear of Yahweh? It’s respect for God that expresses itself in observance of His Law. If wisdom is the observance (notice the active participation?) of God’s commands, then foolishness is to disregard His commands. Yeah, the fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God’.

Jesus teaches this exact principle with the parable of the wise and foolish man. The wise man is the one who hears what Jesus says and obeys. The foolish man hears the words of Jesus and ignores them. One has a house that is built on a rock, capable of withstanding any storm. The other is built on sand. (Mat 7:24-27) We can infer that wisdom is not merely the knowledge of what to do, but the doing itself of what is right. Foolishness is the absence of application.

Apply this concept to the child. If wisdom requires application, then we are to understand that the child bears responsibility for whether he is wise or foolish to some degree. (I say ‘some degree’, for wisdom requires knowledge.) The description of being a wise or foolish child is not the result of one wise or foolish action in isolation. It is the repeated actions, wise or foolish, that will define the individual. One workout will not make an athlete, yet no athlete exists without countless workouts. All our individual actions (or lack thereof) will ultimately define us as wise or foolish.

But what of the beneficiaries? It should be noted that this contrast provides benefit to the someone other than the main actor. In this proverb, the actions of the child influence the parents. This influence is profound, for ordinarily we perceive the older generation to be influencing the younger generation. But here we see that the influence flows back as well.

In a more extended sense, this proverb is first about the family, but families do not exist in isolation. Every child belongs to a generation, and every parent represents the generation before it. The relationship Solomon describes in the home therefore reflects a broader principle: each generation has the power either to honor or to grieve the one that came before. One day, the following generation will bear the same responsibility towards you.

Thus we infer responsibility on the parents, though the subject of this verse is the children. If how children behave will ultimately affect the parents, it is in the interest of the parent to put in the time and labor to raise their children with the knowledge and understanding of God and His Law and to direct them in the path of wisdom. The same applies to those who are of age but not biological parents. There is still responsibility to live out, teach, and encourage wisdom.

There is a responsibility to act wisely for the benefit of the older generation. This responsibility does not fade with time or whether one’s biological parents are alive or not, worthy or not, for wisdom is not merely for the benefit of others. Lord willing if we live to see ourselves as parents or simply old age, we too will find ourselves on the receiving end of the younger generation.

Let us then behave in a manner that fulfills the responsibility of both sides. Whether as the younger generation, as children, we behave wisely and bless our parents, or as the older generation, we model and guide the younger generation to act wisely. Every choice we make is a move towards wisdom or foolishness. The parent who receives joy tomorrow depends, in part, on the child we choose to be today.